|The 10 Worst Movie Couples Who Have No Chemistry At All|
Unlike real couples, screen couples sometimes don’t work because they are brought together by casting directors instead of true love. All the chemistry have to be faked, it’s either there or not there.
Here are 10 worst examples of movie couples who can’t connect with each other in every scene they appear together. In these cases, love does hurt.
10. Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck – Gigli
|Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck|
Like rubber pants, Lopez is brazen but sexy, while Affleck is out-acted by his own hair. The scenes of lovemaking featuring various animal noises are thrillingly humiliating. (Is this how they, like, did it in real life?). Celebrity Glamour Fail.
9. Ben Affleck & Kate Beckinsale – Pearl Harbor
|Ben Affleck & Kate Beckinsale|
The foamy, soap-opera melodramatics of Ben and Kate’s piffling romance (him all indignant wobbling chin, her all downcast eyes and sullen mourning) are cast into shadow by the film’s real love story – the one Affleck and fellow pilot Josh Hartnett. “Daaannnyyy!”
8. Will Ferrell & Nicole Kidman – Bewitched
|Will Ferrell & Nicole Kidman|
All chemistry here is beyond broken, with Ferrell’s regular bawling-manchild act passing by Kidman’s mischievous wink-to-the-camera kook like ships in the night. They’re both awful, just in different ways. Put ‘em together – whole new flavor of awful.
7. Madonna & Sean Penn – Shanghai Surprise
|Madonna & Sean Penn|
Casting Madonna as a missionary is like setting fire to common sense. Hiring her then-husband Penn to be her glow-in-the-dark tie-salesman love interest was the next illogical move. Not a surprise: it didn’t work.
6. Jennifer Connelly & Jared Leto – Requiem For A Dream
|Jennifer Connelly & Jared Leto|
To be fair, Connelly and Leto’s pasty numb fumblings are probably a pretty accurate representation of exactly how sexy a pair of desperate junkies are, but it’s still zero fun to watch. And someone as flutteringly lovely as Connelly really doesn’t deserve to go out like that…
5. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie – Mr & Mrs Smith
|Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie|
The point was once made on the ex-Mrs Pitt’s sitcom Friends that when on-screen sex between two actors is hot, their off-screen partners have nothing to worry about. It’s a limp and lifeless couple-up that only vaguely signals the real-life shenanigans. A great case of a pair who sizzle individually but (see the 2009 BAFTAs Red Carpet interviews) clunk as a couple.
4. Andy Garcia & Sofia Coppola – The Godfather Part III
|Andy Garcia & Sofia Coppola|
Considering this should’ve have been an illicit, semi-incestuous passion, the pair have absolutely no discernable erotic edge. Daddy’s girl Sofia looks a yawn away from falling asleep and Garcia is so busy channelling the menacing ghost of Pacino past (before he went mad and got a flat-top) to bring his A-game to the love scenes.
3. Pierce Brosnan & Linda Hamilton – Dante’s Peak
|Pierce Brosnan & Linda Hamilton|
“I’ve always been better at figuring out volcanoes than people,” says Brosnan’s vulcanologist (you heard) hero, pinpointing the fact that the film is bad at romance on a geological scale. He’s awkward and haunted, she’s John Connor’s mum, we’re asleep.
2. Young Brad Pitt & Cate Blanchett – The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
|Young Brad Pitt & Cate Blanchett|
It was a toss-up between this and Old Brad Pitt and Young Cate Blanchett (complete with creepy paedo undertones), but this version of the couple that made us want to age forwards is the real romance killer.
Pitt’s left her to move on with her life, then decides to turn up at her dance studio years later, presumably because he’s got the horn and wants to get into her uncanny valley. Problem: she’s moved on with her life, he now looks like a videogame character.
1. Natalie Portman & Hayden Christensen – Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones
|Natalie Portman & Hayden Christensen|
Between Christensen’s sulky adolescent brooding, Portman’s doe-eyed emptiness and a stream of beyond-cliché digital courting locales – his hometown, a balcony, a windswept field – this is as close as we’re ever going to get to Dawson’s Creek In Space.
The nagging feeling that Pacey’s going to emerge from a shuttle and deliver some smug line about everyone having their whole lives ahead of them is muted only by the crushing realisation that it’s all so very real – this it actually what Lucas made and wanted.
He can’t act. She can’t emote. Their dialogue is dire (“I wish I could just wish away my feelings!”). Sure – love hurts, but this is all pain, no gain.